i think i think to increase projects. i’ve managed to get full spin again over the weekend. i just beat teipei mahjohng solitaire then i have to beat every version of solitaire i know with real cards. it’s a form of active meditation. the Elf Priest in Albuquerque’s son Paul said his father had come up with it to keep him out of trouble during rituals because he was -like myself-ADHD before it was ‘popular’ back when they were calling the more severe of us developmentally disadvantaged (me? hell no. i was too weird in general so they IQ tested my ass when i was 12. they wouldn’t tell me what the numbers were back then, but i was suddenly shunted into the AP classes for EVERYTHING and pitched a nuclear spazz because these were the kids i’d been catching the worst time from at achool. the jocks left me alone. the only reason i didn’t get picked for teams was i had zero interest and said so, but i could be persuaded if someone i hated was on the other team. shall i name names? Jacky Searcy, you’re a scumbag skank. Tim Mullane you’re an asshole and a bully and i still loathe you both with every fiber of my being i don’t hope you fail. i wish you EVERY success and i wish upon you many MANY joys and happinesses and i also wish you have a WHOLE PASSELL of kids that act JUST LIKE YOU DID so you have to deal with the fallout from your own behavior. ‘oh was i really that awful?’ damn straight you were if 38 years later a dying woman is still talking about how foul you were.

but i digress. no. they found out i was superbrainy and bored and didn’t play well with others and was and am dyslexic. but these days i’d be in a school with padded corners, bean bag punishment chairs and large staff members for the subdoing emergencies (did you read about that shit? they’re taking what we were still calling ‘short bus kids’ with no rancor, mind you. we generally thought they had it better. nicer classrooms, more patient teachers smaller classes so things got done on occasion and we knew they got the earlier lunch and any time there was any weird stuff at school, they’d get to leave a little early…but they had the attendant staff crushing these poor kids between their adult 200 lb or so of Orderly per a side and 2 bean bags chairs and the punishment for a tantrum would be CRUSH THE KID?!?!?! makes them feel safe? dude! try an oversized blanket pappoose insteadand have the Orderlies crowd in next to them. same effect. block out the light, make them feel like they’re being embraced and swaddled by their mum yada yada without the potential fucking lawsuits.) but anyhoo. playing patience/solitaire whenever he had too much energy was what paul’s dad did (and made him run laps around the ritual circle. made it part of it later called it running the forcefield into place. LOL) and when i asked the guy what the deal was he said he came up with it for himself because he was unable to just sit and contemplate the middle distance so did active meditations. since some of his others are pretty unfeasable in a flat (no flock of chickens to feed. they run around you in circles vying for the food and gravel and you count them. its actually stunningly soothing) and you can always toss a deck of cards in a pouch in your pocket and bring them with you. unless you’re a really sore loser, then no big.

what *I* do, is play each version i know till i beat it, then move on to the next. i know around 20 different versions too, all while i go about the daily chaos around here play a hand, if i beat it, i move onto the next 1, if i lose, then i turn to my pile of journals, novels i’m working on and either the art projects themselves or a marker that tells me which 1 fits there, then after working on that for 5 minutes i do another hand of solitaire and this will go on all day till i beat all of them then i drag out my 3 reading decks (2 tarot decks K.K.’s gorgeous tarot of the cat people for the light side of readings, vampire deck from the french painter (it was a gift. honestly? i can draw better than her with my feet.) for the darker aspect and a native american totem animal deck for the end spot for beginning and end of the readings.

so. that’s what i’ll be doing today. if i beat it, i’ll spend most of the evening doing cards (10 different readings that i write out in a journal set aside-mostly- for the purpose of doing cards)



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