I hate my mom so bad

My mom has always hated me since I was born. I used to think that she actually cared about me, but now I think she’s just a two faced bitch and I hate her just so damned much. From day 1, she never wanted me, she wanted to get an abortion, but my grandma wouldn’t let her. The first word I said was dad, and I wouldn’t say mom. So just because of that she called me stupid and shit. And when I was little, she didn’t want me around so she sent me back to China with a relative. Then when I was there, one of my cousins tripped me and made me bang my head on the corner of a table. Just like that, I couldn’t remember any more memories of when I was a child. Now I have a life long scar on my eyebrow because she didn’t want me around. I can barely stop the tears every time I think about her. She’s made my life a basic living hell. When I was little, I would always do all these chores for her, but she never thanked me or said good girl, she just ignored it like I didn’t do it. Then now, whenever I do something good, she just finds a way to criticize me. Like I wash the dishes perfectly clean and she says that they probably aren’t clean and we’ll get food poisoning or something, then she goes and washes them again. But the thing is, I wash them cleaner than her, she always leaves stuff on the chopsticks and plates. Then with the laundry, she says that I don’t know how to fold it when I fold it better than her. Then she’s always saying why don’t you ever do other chores. Like wash the clothes, but I don’t know what days she washes it or when, by the time I come home from school, she already did the fucking laundry herself. And 1 or 2 times that I actually washed them for her, she just bitched and said that I messed up her fucking laundry system, like WTF!!! And whenever she mops the floor, she’s all like why don’t you ever help me, so I go and help her, but then she’s like WTF r u doing, u don’t mop the floor clean. I’m just like, you told me to. Then she does that like every time she mops the floor. It’s just so damn annoying. And she’s such a hypocrite,too. She is always saying that me and my sis can’t go through each others stuff, but then she’s always going through my stuff. She thinks IDK but I do because I can easily tell if something is in the wrong spot or it got moved or something. Like she lost her own jar of honey the other day, so while I was at school today, she like totally searched my room and I know because my science board was in the wrong spot, my clothes were in the wrong spot, my closet door was open a little, my two pillows were smashed into each other, my cup was in the wrong place, my cords were in the wrong order, and my lotion which I keep in my room because only I use it, was in the bathroom. And it’s not the 1st time either. She’s gone through my stuff before and she knows I don’t like it, but she still does it. Then during dinner she acts all innocent and shit. It made me sick down to the stomach. It gets on my nerves so damn much. Every word, every action is like nails scratching a chalk board to me. She’s just so fucking damn annoying. She such a fucked up hypocrite bitch. Back in 4th grade, she kept complaining shit to my dad and made us move to Texas, then she complained to my dad that it was to hot there, so we moved back. But ever since we moved back, even now, I felt like I didn’t fit in. All cuz of her ugly ass bitchiness complaining. And she is so fucking fat and ugly,I don’t see how my dad can stand her. My dad is such a bitch too. He’s scared of my mom so he does whatever she tells him to do, and he always sides with her. And she makes everything into a big deal, too. It’s like something as simple as the TV, but then she goes and complains to my dad then my sis, instead of telling me directly. Then it’s just this mega huge fight where she’s always blaming every damned fucking thing on me or someone else. Then in the last 2 years, she started getting worse. Name calling and hitting. I have bruises all over my body because of her, not to mention the unhealable, unforgivable, unforgettable scars in my heart. She called me names like fat, ugly, stupid, slut, whore, prostitute, idiot, clumsy bitch, horrible daughter, weird, useless, worthless, no one wants you, pig, egg, etc. It hurt so bad because I already dealt with people bullying me at school, but I didn’t really care, but to know your own mom didn’t want you or care about you, just broke me. I got depression and started cutting. I’ve tried suicide twice but failed. I’ve stopped cutting but only because my mom would get me into worse trouble if I didn’t. I still have depression, OCD, paranoia, and anxiety now. I used to have anorexia and bulimia, but my friends helped me get over it. And another thing is, my mom discriminates against my best friends just because they like to have fun and show affection.Like WTF right? So I’ve always loved my friends and hated my parents, so my mom wouldn’t even ever let me go to a friends house except for homework. She won’t even let me get a phone for fuck gods sake, just my sis old laptop. So anyways she thinks it’s my own fault that I self harm, but she doesn’t even realize it’s her own damn fault. Now because of her, I’m scared to trust people and I always think that people will leave me. I can’t wait until I’m 18. I’m already planning. I’m going to save up from now until I’m 18 to get an apartment, then with part time job and students loans, ill pay rent every month. Until I graduate collage and find a job and I’ll be free from her, I can’t wait until I’m 18,

2 thoughts on “I hate my mom so bad”

  1. Omg i am soo srry girl. i dont think that you should be treated like that. I feel you through. i tell my self that i can not wait till im 18-which is next year. i hate my house sometimes. my parents treat me like shit. They always tell me that its cause that i act like i dont want to be part of their family but sometimes it feels like they dont want me to part of their family. I dont want to sound like a total
    bitch and tell you that you have a terrible life but just try to think about what you have in the future. i hope things get better:)
    it will i promise @!!!!!!

  2. Omg i am soo srry girl. i dont think that you should be treated like that. I feel you through. i tell my self that i can not wait till im 18-which is next year. i hate my house sometimes. my parents treat me like shit. They always tell me that its cause that i act like i dont want to be part of their family but sometimes it feels like they dont want me to part of their family. I dont want to sound like a total
    bitch and tell you that you have a terrible life but just try to think about what you have in the future. i hope things get better:)
    it will i prpmise@!!!!!!

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