Why am I so terrible at life

This entire semester has been a complete failure and yet I don’t care. I have dropped 3 classes, and got an F in another class but I did nothing to change myself. It does not make sense to me that I feel nothing when I get an exam grade back and it is a 40, and I do not care when half my math grades are zeros because I could not bother to get out of bed to go to class and turn it in. Several times this semester, I have spent days at a time not leaving my room except to go to the bathroom, and just binge-watching netflix. There would be weeks at a time that I would not go to a single class because I could not gather the motivation to do it. The only emotion that really sticks with me is fear that my parents will find out. They were so proud of me after my first semester, and I continue to lie to them. I would them “everything is great!” and “Im doing really well in all my classes” as I lied in bed for my third day in a row, with a mound of work that I hadn’t touched in who knows how long. The guilt is eating at me but I can’t admit that I am a failure. It would destroy them. If I can do well in my summer classes, maybe I can get by without them noticing.

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