p.24

Sometimes I feel like I’m slowly drowning, like there is this wall that is just piling on top of me keeping me from living and I can’t breathe. I have always thought that the worst way of dying was drowning. It seems so painful. It seems as if you are trying so hard to breathe yet your body weakens as it loses oxygen. What makes me sad the most is how your body automatically tries and tries and tries and the fact that it is trying so hard to not give up yet you feel this power that you cannot outdo. Being drowned alive is worse than dying. There comes to a point where something in you completely dies. You almost lose all oxygen and you stop feeling excited about things you desire and you also do not feel sad about things that frustrate you. You just slowly live just because you have not died yet. You become completely numb. you have no type of emotion. This wall keeps you from feeling anything because that wall as it drowns you it tells you how no matter what you do it will never be good enough. And it’s a constant battle with that wall, that evil wall that keeps you from being who you are and from knowing who you are supposed to be.

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