i feel like 8 shades of shit, pollen count was so absurdly high yesterday, i literally spent the whole day puking. and because i’m a stickler for details? o’d take my meds, think about eating something and puked. damn. din’t think the fuckers had time to dissolve. there were streaks of bright pink in the foamy vomit -oh come on. especially if you’re legitimately ill, that’s the kind of thing you need to do ESPECIALLY if you just took your fucking painmeds. thing is? if it had been solid enough, i’d have taken it again anyway. i can’t get quite as up close and personal with the other end .i have a pretty good leash on my gag reflex…just ask my exes! but i have a supersensitivity to SMELLS that borders on the absurd. as long as there’s no FOOD rotting in the vomit, i’ll leave the ‘whoops bucket’ alone for a full week. it’s just a little stomach acid a lot of phlegm (every time i hear or see that word, i have a cabaret film version flashback. ‘no g please? zen vhy are vhe putting ze g?’ i’m not sure i can help you. try, Bri. i honestly don’t know. ‘so Meestah Prrrofesseur, zhen i cannot help you!’) and whatever i’ve drank in the least hour or so (which yesterday meant water all day. i had about 4 sips of a soda and it tasted wrong, then i tried a few sips of milk and that didn’t even stay around to look around. hit belly and launched right back out with thanks to the pollen count yesterday was a waterfall worth of snot. not exaggerating even a little. had to put a new bag in the whoops bucket this morning and went through AN ENTIRE BOX OF TISSUES yesterday and this morning. and i’ve been up since 4 am because i pulled the last tissue out at 4am, realized it was the last 1 of them and had a slight panic attack which is pretty much adrenalin so now i’m up for the day.

but i digress. after i’d sort of recovered from the 1st puking which launched me off the bed to the loo (and into the 1st clothing change. puked all over my skirt.) so i changed skirts, took meds and drank some more water. i made it ALMOST the full hour before i got sick again and got snot ALL over my shirt.then i get over that and started to try to think about food, ended up with nausea, the shakes and a dizzy spell. okay. right. no food. that led me to get another glass of water which i all but downed. this led to a full on waterfall moment again, i barely got my head over the trash can, got my mouth open and snot poured out of my mouth and noise for a good solid 4 minutes.that led to a coughing fit which led to me shitting myself as i bolted for the loo. great. so then i’m getting really angry.none of my plans for yesterday including setting up laundry today. i usually do laundry later in the week. (here goes my damn stomach again and it’s still 20 minutes till safe zone for meds being dissolved. stomachs aren’t supposed to do cartwheels by themselves  i really want food too, but that doesn’t seem likely. damnit. puked again and i’ve now used up 1/2 a roll of loo paper on top of the whole box of tissues. admittedly i got it on the 4th, but 1 of those usually lasts me all month)  the final big outfit change was around noon when i decided to try having a dr. pepper (i will on occasion drink coke or ginger ale, but it’s rare. i drink dr. p, water by the gallon, tea like it’s going to be taken away from me and a rare cup of coffee now and then or more likely cocoa. (tea? almost ALWAYS English style. milk and sugar and stewed for a good 15 minutes or so. my tea is stronger than most coffee)  and got about 2 sips and it tasted ….wrong somehow. like i’d fried out my taste buds puking all morning. i had another sip and sneezed. interesting. i took a longer sip that could almost be legitimately called a drink and broke into a coughing fit out of nowhere. i felt my stomach go then to and leaped up, made it 2 steps and tripped over papers on the floor (i had intended to clean yesterday and they were still out from doing to reup for my foodstamps and medicaid. (which is stupid. i have an incurable fatal degenerative fucking nerve disease. the SSI people out me through hell taking me to court, but 1ce they made the choice? haven’t bugged me about it since none of this yearly bullshit ‘still dying?’ yup and it still sucks but for my food and medical coverage i have to jump through the same fucking hoops EVERY Fucking year) pissed all down my legs when i crashed into the doorframe and then puked all over myself when i finally did make it in to the loo. that’s when i decided no even attempting anything besides water unless i get really hungry like audible grumbling and pretty much that’s what went on for the entire rest of the day. i sat here and watched netflix with the trash can that i’ve named ‘whoops bucket’ next to me, close enough to grab.yeah. so. that’s where i’m sitting right now.

i REALLY need to get thee laundry and floor done and finish the dishes and make the bed. whether or not ANY of that gets dome remains to be seen. if i move much i puke so i’m going to try to stay still for a while.



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