I was one of those good Christian kids that belived the earth was much younger than what science dictated. I left the faith and became an ancient pagan for fifteen years. I was paid right to my face for what I did to people and ran back to the faith on my own terms. No scary rapture talk and gloom and doom. I wouldn’t settle for that end time propaganda! At 36 years old I do feel the Earth is billions of years old. I think the creator, God, was working things out in those days before he put us here. The Dinosours May have been a test to see how things could end up for us. Who knows. I believe God made the big bang in order to start it all. I do. I also believe dark matter may be directly linked to God too. I think the never-ending expanse to space reflects his ability to be infinity itself. It’s not hard. We have been searching for intelligent life out there…and its been out there from the start…it’s God. It’s God out there quietly watching. Waiting. Seeing.
I have been a writer almost my whole life as well as a dark digital artist, poet, dark photographer, have done several digital art projects with fetish models such as Dita Von Teese, Amanda Pemberton (aka Apnea) and small projects with various Lithium Picnic, Suicide Girls and God Girls. Just when I thought things were looking up, I was totally blind sided by a double whammy of a diagnosis. The same year I was doing all these side projects was the same year terrible internal pains were robbing me of my very mobility. The very hands I used to create these digital masterpieces were failing me, locking up on me and creating havoc for me. I was told then, in 2007 that I have Lupus (SLE) and SEVERE Rheumatoid Arthritis. That I'm one of about 15,000 patients in the world with this combo of illnesses. I'm brutally honest and write about everything and anything. I won't let fear hold me back and if it's controversial in theme or content, then so be it! People are usually sheep that bow down or give in to the white washed brainless masses way of thinking. Here, I'm going to PROMISE myself (and those who stumble upon my entries and read them) that I am going to write here totally unafraid. If it's liked, great. If not, find another journal LOL. It's that simple. My life is a strange ride 24/7 so get your seat belts fastened quickly. I can come off rather offensive about things so I warn right now, that if you happen to get all sensitive and hurt by what I may have to say here at any given time, then TOUGH! That's when you have one of two options. Cowgirl up OR Man up! I'm so not going to sugar coat what I will be documenting regarding my final days on Earth (however long that may or may not be). I'm not going to be afraid that another grown adult can't take it, so this is why I have to stress that if you are under 18yrs old I don't want you reading my stuff. So, that's about it.