okay. as promised, here’s the photo. that’s what i look like right this moment. the only makeup i’m wearing is eyeliner (without which i have no eyebrows) and a dab of lipgloss. i’m really that fucking pale. that allergy to UV rays (big wink) and being deathly ill seems to become me as well. decided not to do anything spiky with my hair. it’s already getting long enough i’d have to choke myself with hairspray to get it to stand up and frankly this morning? i’m just too fucking lazy. that’s the great thing about green hair (and i’d say the colour is fading nicely) you can roll right out of bed and scrape your nails through through hair, stretch and call it done. if it looks like a haystack? people are just going to think that’s what you were going for, aren’t they? that necklace is a tibetan temple bell on an antique silk ribbon (managed to get my hands on a whole roll of it of which this foot or so is the last) and the bell itself is well over 200 years old. 1 of my prized possessions and fave bit of jewelry.
well, my ride should be here within the hour. my appointment isn’t till 2. but the car service is notoriously flaky and could show up anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours. either way. i’m ready to go now. message changed on my answer-phone, soda and snacks(2 chocolate brownie cliff bars and a tube of plain pringles and a bottle of dr pepper) and cigarette tin with spare pack of papers in my bag, a book to read (the dalai lama’s cat) current pain journal (up to 9 now) keys and cell already in my bag, not going to need a jacket today. (hell, i may have overdressed with the sleeveless black beaded embroidered sundress and full length black leggings, but i didn’t want to put sunblock on my legs it makes me itch. my legs are just too sensitive today) so all i need to do is grab my pack as i get up from the desk, my crutches as i hit the foyer, open the door and lock the bottom lock from the inside so it’ll lock when i go out. tonight’s rubbish night, but i’m not going to fuck with that till i get home. we call that being ‘leo-lazy’ leos will often rush about and work like fiends when no one is looking, then when anyone’s around we’re lounging around being a big ol sloth because we EARNED it. so that’s what i’ll do for the next hour or so. lounge at the desk and write in 1 of my journals and chainsmoke till the car gets here…or until 1245pm and if they haven’t shown up by then? i’ll call the car service get them to find the driver and gripe at them for me and go sit and wait on the wall next to the driveway.
i have NO idea when i’ll be back or what kind of mood i’ll be in when i return. again. it’s the new guy. i’m not looking forward to this and already spoiling for a rumble. i’d rather be pleasantly surprised, but i’m expecting the worst. yup. i’m a practical pessimist. we can ONLY be pleasantly surprised and are always prepared for the worst. how the fuck you think i made it this long being as confrontational/combatative as i am? 😉