Step by Step
Sunday, May 17, 2015
“He was drinking to hold on to his job, to hold on to his wife, to hold on to his sanity. Finally, he was drinking to keep away those little men, and those strange voices, and the organ music that came out of the walls.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 8, p 512.
Today, the reasons and excuses I used to justify drinking are now the reasons I cannot drink. If I drank out of fear of losing a job, let me not drink to keep it; if I drank with uncertainty that I might lose a spouse or loved one, let me not drink to have a chance at salvaging the relationship; if I drank to stop for a while the hallucinations that were not real, let me not drink to extinguish them forever. The desperate excuses I used to drink can now, ironically, become the reasons not to drink. In the end, I am only drying out and not sobering up if I hinge my recovery on something other than myself. Today, I choose not to drink for myself and not to avoid a possible consequence. Today, if I can be sober for myself, I may find the strength and courage to deal effectively with whatever consequences of my alcoholism that await me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M., 2015