A struggling author in the making. Yeah, I guess that’s just how I see myself these days.

So, my very first book is finally coming out on May 25 in local bookstores. YAY! Congrats me. It’s a start for a dream come true. I’m on a brand new journey…

What’s next? Keep on writing, of course. Keep looking for another job too. Unlike in some other countries, being a novelist (especially for the very first time) here doesn’t always automatically make you rich that you don’t have to keep your regular day job anymore. Hold it right there. Not all of us share the same fate as J.K. Rowling.

No, I’m not bitter nor impatient. In fact, I’m excited now. I haven’t signed the contract yet (but soon I’ll be.) I’m already working on my second book, though. Little by little.

Do I sound ambitious? Maybe. I don’t care what people think of me now. I just want to live the best way I know how. I mind my own business. As simple as that.

So, what’s coming up next? I’m still helping Hazel Eyes with arranging the moving to the rented house. I still attend the writers’ club weekly gathering. (In fact, it’s the only time I ever really hang out. It’s one of my sources of joy.) Once in a while, I come home to my family.

Of course, I also write. I still do. I don’t stop. It’s only one book; I still need to produce more. My friend Niko has suggested that I not just become a ‘one hit wonder.’

So I won’t.

Life also carries on. I’m still working as a freelance writer, a freelance translator, and a part-time Saturday English teacher. Sounds a mouthful to you, eh?

Well, this girl’s got to make a decent and enough living. I’ve got to take care of my family too and feel like I haven’t done much for them lately. Yep, guilty as charged!

My brother’s getting married. Have I told you that already? Maybe I have. He’s proposed his girlfriend Tia and she’s said yes. Good. I’m happy for both of them.

Now he only has to ask for her parents’ blessing. I don’t think that’ll be much of a problem. They like him as much as we like her. It’s only a matter of ‘when’, setting the date and all.

Then what about me? That’s a good question. I’m sure they’re silently wondering about me too. They never come out and really say it to my face, because they know how I feel. I’ll be pissed off if they start reminding me that. After all, I’m already 33.

That means, ladies and gentlemen, I’ll turn 34 this November. Still single as ever.

I don’t know what or how I’m supposed to feel about this. Nothing? Maybe. I haven’t thought of this in a long time, at least since Tony B. left for Bali last year. I don’t know, perhaps I just don’t want to.

Do I really need it? I sometimes question myself that. I’ve been so damn good at being on my own for way too long that I’m not really sure anymore. It does get lonely sometimes, honestly, but I can always handle the feeling. Just keep myself busy and distracted. Write, write, write.

Will I end up with someone or not? That’s also another good question, but guess what? I’ll just leave it all up to God. It’s not that I’ve given up, although I don’t expect anyone to believe me. I mean, I’m not going to start going on a desperate hunt for The One. That’s not how I want to do this.

And no, I don’t care if people think I don’t make much an effort in finding a guy. God knows what I want and what I need. Let Him do His Will while I’m doing my best. No need to socially bully me.



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