Help, I’m lost here…I just don’t get it anymore!

I don’t get it. For the record, I would like to clarify that in based upon previous posts I am NOT a DAMN druggie because I’ve been raw enough to write the DAMN truth. It has to be stressed that my pain level is daily, at at least an 8 out of 10. Then by night it’s usually only down to a 7 if there’s no sudden temp drop or increase. I also must clarify that I stuffer from SEVERE PTSD and that event robbed me of most chemicals I need to sleep even a little. As I get on in age it only gets worse. I’ve gone over 2 weeks without sleep…and when you have Lupus AND you have SEVERE Rheumatoid Arthritis…imagine feeling what exhaustion, from head to toe, what kind of headaches and deep tissue pains that leaves me. And each year it only gets worse and worse and I never have energy and ways feel like my ankles, knees and hips are ready to give out.

So, yeah, I clairify this since many posts contain my adventures in the Cannabis world. I’m an activist of its healing properties, it’s neuro protectants and the so MANY different ways the truly sick benefit from it. I also chronicle my useage and things I do (such as making edibles) a true form of medicine for the truly and chronically ill. I want to help the sick for a FRACTION of the price. The disabled who use cannabis for their therapy should never not be able to afford long lasting relief due to lack of money.

I also want to make edibles for a local dispensary that needs good and plenty varieties and strengths.

I have also made no secret that I want off the pill cocktail that ruines your body, mind and spirit. They need to find me alternative medicine for serious pain and only one of them only twice a day max. It’s really like being on the worst roller coaster that almost kills you. The shortages of pain killers is a nation wide epidemic that is a beast. A monster. I want a safer more natural alternative, fully…not just a ton of dope.

I’m also bummed with the mister. I try so hard with him and he’s not the easiest to understand at times…but sometimes, I can’t take it. I’m human too, man…what you did would have pissed you off or make you think I didn’t give a shit. I’ll be shutting up a lot with him. Like…a lot. He’s taking a ton out on me and thinks he’s just fine. No,he’s not. He’s depressed over his family and I try to be his rock…but he doesn’t want it. So…I’ll just ignore him. Maybe he’d rather just have that for a bit.

2 thoughts on “Help, I’m lost here…I just don’t get it anymore!”

  1. Wow. Your post just knocked me out of my chair.

    I live in a state where pot is legal (which I totally support) and I know of at least four people that smoke or eat it for chronic pain issues, like migraines. It’s not the perfect solution for any of them but it definitely helps.

    I have gone through health issues, family problems and job setbacks and through it all I remember this: It’s Always Something But It Will Be Alright. And it usually is, eventually.

    Anyway, I liked your post 🙂

  2. Cesibon, thank you. So much! People think we just smoke the shit or do it and get wasted and that is an UNFAIR stigma I want to see broken ASAP. What I’m doing is living in pain all the time. I want to make several options to alleviate the pains of having to live life with nothing but daily and nightly pain. I want to make serious MEDICINE for the truly disabled. For cancer patients in their final stages…if I can make a little chocolate or cake or even shoot the oil into capsules from a health food store so somebody could swallow this medicine down in the grips of pain and then and then…an hour later they feel less anxious, less pain and get the munchies for appetite that the rarely get…then I feel GOOD! My mission would be a accomplished if a family member of a dying patient who passed on told me, ” Your medicine kept them comfortable towards the end, Di,” then I’d KNOW my medibles, medicine, the very gift I had in mind as I made it with pride that it would HELP people in desperate relief.

    There’s no doubt I have expressed that I want to develope a CHEAP cure for the ill. For people like me…and far worse off. It’s my MISSION. I’m GOING to help people and make a CHEAP POTENT medication so they no longer get ripped off! Somebody has to help these people.

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