It takes more courage to admit it. To spit the words your soul has been screaming for months. “I don’t know anything anymore.” It takes more courage to release how you’ve been conditioned to see, and learn to see again. Or maybe, to see for the first time. I will not be the subject of some other person’s piety. And I will not be that voice of explanation. I don’t know anything anymore. I have been saying these words almost daily, and have been, daily, erasing the ways I was taught and taught myself to condemn. We are all invited, but I didn’t always believe that. Everything belongs, but I didn’t always understood that. We’re all fucked, and none of us have the answers but for God’s sake, literally, and for the sake our bruises and cracked logic, we have to stop burying our questions. God is already present within all of us and I didn’t always believe that either, but I’m trying, to practice that new belief. I will not live out of expectation as if His presence is something I can receive based on my merit. I have already and presently experienced it. I must teach myself to see it.

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