When I was only a few months old, my birth father passed away for reasons still unknown to me. To this day, I find myself seeking men who have experienced life. This sounds stupid, but I learned a lot through those many mistakes. I always choose to learn the hard way. Life can be easy, but not if I’m the one living it. I don’t have many friends now. I feel like people don’t need new friends, especially someone who’s burdened with depression. They don’t have a past with me, so it’s easier to not get involved with me. When, I was in the fourth grade my Uncle sexually molested me. I was so confused and had many conflicted emotions. It felt good, but of course it felt bad as well. He always picks on me, but I felt he was acknowledging me….I thought he was being nice to me. I even kind of remember what I was wearing. It was a white uniform blouse, a navy blue skirt, and a blue powerpuff girls training bra. I could’ve said stop, but I was afraid he would hurt me. And so that is why I pretended to be asleep. I tried to tell someone, but I started to freak out and said it was just a cry for attention. I didn’t want anybody to hate me even more than they did. I have a scar indent on my right nipple from when he pinched it to see if I was awake. I knew he knew I was awake, but neither of us ever said anything. The abuse of course continued. I was but a child, but I have to partake in the guilt for my inability to take action.

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