p.136

I told him,
I was sad,
always mad
it was confusing
even unsettling
like I was going crazy
I couldn’t be happy
I started arguing
I started thinking
thoughts like never before
and in came more and more
the insane kind
you know, the ones that obliterate your mind
and I couldn’t control it
I couldn’t climb out of that pit
it just continued to destroy me
ever so slowly
piece by tiny piece
incinerating all dreams and fantasies
eating me entirely from the inside out
nothing more was left but a pout
a pout and a death wish
like a water-filled bowl with no fish
I was a thought-filled body with no soul
a line-filled character with no role
a skeleton that was just waiting to be returned
a life it had lost, before it had earned
and I told him,
god, I told him…

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