It’s been a while since I’ve written anything like this, but I’ve had a lot on my mind.. I keep having nightmares about dad.. About the things he’s done to me in the dead of night after stumbling home, drunk off his ass……Yeah, my dad did the best he could raising me and Mikael, he held us together pretty well for a widower and a single father. And he took care of us the best he could. He made sure we were safe, that we always had what we needed, and was there when we needed him. But something changed in him. When his and mom’s 10 year marriage anniversary came up, I guess it was too much for him knowing that all 10 of those anniversaries were spent without her. He became an absolute monster. Picked up drinking and smoking (two things he swore he’d never do), started sleeping around, and was just a general prick to anyone he hadn’t fucked. Especially me and my bro. I, being the oldest, regularly protected Mikael, took his beatings, and tried my best to shield him from dad until he finally left him alone and stayed focused on me, saying it was my fault mom died since it happened while she was giving birth to me. It wasn’t until dad actually went further than just hitting me and actually raped me, that I realized that he was too far gone. This became a regular thing. He just started taking everything out on me. When I had friends over he was tame, as soon as they left it started again. He would let out all his stress, anger, frustration, and insecurities with his fists and all his ‘tension’ through blunt force, strangling me and forcing me against my mattress and treating me like some drunken slut he picked up at a bar… He always said I look just like a brunette version of my mom. Those words always stung, especially when they were alcohol scented, being hissed in my ear. He’d call me Kanissa junior.. It makes me sick… But now he’s behind bars and I’m safe..

2 thoughts on “Dad..”

  1. Oh Wow, I have no words. I just wanted to cry, YOU are so damn strong.

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