I have so many things to say
just…. no one to say them to.
All my friends are getting their
hears broken and getting woken
up at 4am with kisses on their
necks, and sure, that may have
been a mistake but I’ve never had
a lapse in judgement where my
heart comes into play. I build
others into skyscrapers just to
watch them fall, yet when their
pylons and their steel lay in piles
at my feet I cry for them and I
tell them that maybe we should
have tried to build something
simpler first. All my cities have
fallen this way. So somewhere along
the line, I decided to stop
planning blueprints in the hopes
that I’d find my own
city on my way down the road….
Yes, I’ve found cities. They’re
beautiful. In personality of
population and design. And while I
frequent them as churches, my
worship is unrefined. My faith
weak. My mind not yet behind.
I’m a tourist in these metropolitan
mountains. Her to see the sights,
to culture myself in their museums,
to agonize over their beauty and
smile at their urban sun, to
memorize their streets and alleyways
before I take my taxi out of town.
There is no way I can ever stay. I
am a stranger in a foreign state. My
years in the barons have conditioned
me to leave nothing but the
impression from the soles of
my shoes in the worn earth
and the the photos I capture lay
undeveloped in masses in the lindle
I burden on my journey. By some
flaw in design I wish to preserve
the nature in these cities though
their sparse trees flourish with a
plastic shade of green; false
breaths of fresh air poisoned by
others I find akin to me—though
vacant and vibrant— that pass
me by and pay me no mind. I
wonder if I am the same. Do I,
too, wear rust and reek of
exhaust? Are my mirrors reflecting
an echo of untruth? Nevertheless,
I will join the hordes in the
caravan out of town. I am one
of them and none of them,
our veins reeking of asphalt
and mistaken, misplaced apologies.
These arteries still haven’t led me
to my highway heart. I am
interstate in a puppet state;
still having so many things to
say and no one to say them to.

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