Terrified….

I went on my date tonight with D. It went perfect! We went to a movie, we cuddled, held hands, hugged, we even kissed. We’ve been talking for 2 months now. It’s crazy. When our arms touched, I could feel the electricity! I just don’t get it. If everything went perfect…. Why am I so terrified? I am so ashamed that I let myself get hurt and heart broken so many times, that I’m now terrified to let anyone in or let anyone get close to me. I am terrified to fall in love with this guy…. What if it’s the real thing and I just am in the process of pushing him away? What if he really isn’t like the others? What if he does actually care and really does have genuine feelings for me? But… What if he is just like all the others, and he’s just better at playing the games? I’ve had enough loss these past two years… My heart and soul are being held together by a tiny, thin piece of thread…. Any more heart break and I… I don’t know what will happen… I guess I’ll just test the waters.. Play it safe…
Quote of the night: Just for once, I want someone to be afraid of losing me..

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