okay. if you are not aware of this fact? allow me to REintroduce myself. i AM the ORIGINAL Raphael fangirl. THE original. i’ve followed the comics since 1984 (lost my original comics in a fire in 1989 in NYC when our squat that was ALMOST brought up to code. seriously we were THIIIIIIIS close. we were getting the MAIL delivered and we’d got phone in and coned had sent us our FIRST electric bill. that meant we were about to receive Co-op status and be recognized as the owners of the building by the city.) no one and i mean NO ONE loves Raph more than i do. i acquired a massive crush on him way back when i was 14 almost 31 years ago and it never went away. i’ve dumped people who had issues with the fact that i’m in love with a mutant ninja turtle.
now. it is fairly common knowledge that i think Rob Paulson needs to be fucking drawn and quartered for what he did to the character back in 87 and now that he’s mangling another MNT in this NEW SHIT. ugh.
why do i call it MNT? in 1984 they were 15 almost 16. i was 14. got the 1st 2 issues of the comic as a joke birthday gift from a penpal (thank Joy T wherever you are and no thanks. i do not particularly want to hear from you or anyone from that era again. you backstabbed me when i needed you and i have no use for you, but thank you for THAT.) that would make them NOW? 45 headed toward 46. that 1st T shouldn’t even FUCKING BE THERE ANYMORE. and i really get sick of watching 16 year old teenybopper skanks in comment section screech at each other ‘i was here 1st. i love him more than you!’ uhm scuse me? BULLSHIT. have you been there from literally 2 days after issue 2 hit the fucking stands? doubt it. did you go to the local bookstore and badger the owner for months till he started carrying it so i didn’t have to pay the extra postage to have it mailed to me after my issue 3 was almost torn in fucking 1/2 from the battering it took (you know, the postal system back in the 80’s when everything arrived a week late-if at all-and mangled? right. so much more efficient now. computers rock!) did YOU go on to study various martial arts for 30 (well almost 31 now i spose! provided i survive the next 2 months or so at least which as we WELL know is entirely NOT possible.) because of him? (yep. i can use sai and bo and i’m okay-ish with nunchakus- no you dumb fucks. they aren’t called numchucks. swords? now THOSE and various other blades both throwing and otherwise are my especiality. but i’m more along the Jackie Chan style of fighting. anything and everything is a weapon and the BEST weapon? you’re talking to her, honey. because ultimately any OBJECT you carry to be used as a weapon can and often will be taken from you to be used AGAINST you. be the weapon and that isn’t a problem, see? 😉 ) have you spnent 30 years fighting for various causes and stepping up t stop people getting mugged and stop drug dealers from selling their shit on your front doorstep and offering to carve up your friend’s 6 year old daughters face when he asks them to move because the child is trying to sleep? (and yes. really happened. he and i took em out, got em busted and then even more entertainingly, he then went through police academy at 49!!!!!! so he could become a corrections officer and got himself hired AT THE PRISON THEY”D BEEN SENT TO!!!!! Hal you SO fucking rock! ‘i just want to be there to WELCOME them and make sure they have a pleasant stay at our little bed and breakfast. is that so wrong?’ hehehe) doubt it, skank. i did all that and i still (as if you lot haven’t read the shit i get up to on here. not even dying stops me. it barely even slows me down. i’ll rest when i’m dead, fuckers. i’m ALWAYS watching and listening.) do that shit on a daily fucking basis. what do YOU do? do you HONESTLY thing Raph would want anything to do with some mindless little fluffchick that wants to sit around listening to pop music? puhLEEZ. not even Mike’d tolerate THAT bullshit. i think that shit’s hilarious. ‘Raph doesn’t like bugs and i don’t like bugs so we’re perfect for each other ‘ get OVER yourself. what does he do in 2K3TMNT when he runs into a bug? he gets angry and kills it. especially the big ones. your little fluffchick ass would be running away screaming if a spider walked up you arm. me? i’d introduce myself and gently move it to a safer area so Zap doesn’t think it’s a cross between a toy and a snack. it’s documented on here how i reacted to a adult THUMB sized hornet that fucking came back to life after being in an airless jar soaked in hornet killer foam for 2 days. (wasn’t too happy about meeting it, but i wasn’t screaming and climbing furniture either. ‘did you GET THE FUCKING PICTURE? good. then i can flush the fucker’ ) no. sorry. i win. not only was i hear 1st, but i’m a bigger bad-ass than you will EVER be and i clean up decent too. all YOU’d get is an eyeroll and a ‘you’ve GOT ta be fuckin KIDDIN me!’ i’d get a ‘really? you like pummeling scumbags? cool. let’s rock.’ i’ve got the training, the attitude and the confidence. you got NOTHIN.
so. why i am i so pissed off right NOW?! up to JUST a few minutes ago, NN was 1 of ONLY 3 people that have ever played any variation of Raph that i approved of. (the others? the amazing Josh Pais and the INCREDIBLE Gregory Abbey. ) i just rewatched ‘i know that voice’ (which if you haven’t seen it and you follow animation or video/computer games, you REALLY need to see. it’s wicked fuckin cool.) and as is my usual MO if i watch a fiction film? i IMDB it in advance and read up on it (especially goofs, trivia and crazy credits. to me even reading the spoilers doesn’t ruin it for me because it’s being able to see how it all comes together that makes it fun to watch them and having little bullet points to check off in my mind as they flash by on the monitor? that’s what makes it really interesting. like finally watching Hot Fuzz and knowing Simon Pegg REALLY did the fight at the end in the model village because his stunt double went up against a former James Bond and GOT HIS COLLAR BONE BROKEN! so could NOT do the fight! whoa! that’s slick. or that Nick Frost was being a bit of an ass to the assistants and acting like he was a golden era of the silver screen star and making them fetch coffee for him when he was standing 2 meters from the carafe and shit like that and when Simon got cheesed over it and told him to get him for himself because the poor kids had so much ELSE to do? Nick refused to speak to him for a massive chunk of the 11 week shoot and would only speak to him if they were actually performing! it’s stuff like THAT that really makes a film interesting for me. yep. massive geek thanks for noticing. but i’m a geek that can kick ass too so don’t go slinging too many stones or you’ll wind up with an american size 10 doc martin where it’ll do the most good;) ) for documentaries? i still hit imdb but it’s only the triv section, then i’ll wiki it and/or hit the site if they have 1 for a little more research. in THIS case, i was looking over CVs. NN was in PENGUINS of Madagascar?! ookay. i may have to go watch that no………oh fuck.
you have GOT to be kidding me. fucker defected. how? he’s 1 of the asshat fucktards that did the blasphemous pocket lining self serving ego stroking TRASH that ANY TRUE TMNT fan is avoiding like the fucking plague. he’s the fucking voice of the krang aliens. it’s official. i have lost ALL fucking respect for him. i’m not even sure if i’ll ever be able to WATCH TMNT (the CGI 2007 Kevin Munroe directed film which i LOVE) because of this. it may have spoiled it for me forever.
well then. and now? i’m actually a little bit hungry, so i’m going to try 1/2 an ‘everything’ bagel with cream cheese and smoked salmon.