the mystery of the orange slice

yes. I know.. corny as it sounds.. this is really a mystery in my house.. I came home today from a trip to the “big city”, and as I walked into my kitchen to find my secret stash of orange slices.. I pick up the pail.. and all I find sitting in the bottom is one orange slice and a bunch of sugar dust.. now, to most people.. this wouldn’t be a big thing.. but to me.. today.. it is just the thing to push me to my breaking point. now, as any of you that know me know.. I am not a skinny girl.. as a matter of fact, for the nine hundred thousandth and sixty first time.. I had someone make a comment to me today about me being pregnant. I AM NOT PREGNANT!! I am extra healthy.. due to a wreck two years ago, my mobility is limited, and  I have some extra weight.. so yes, I do look like im pregnant because of the weight and how I carry it.. however.. making pregnancy comments to me gets under my skin sometimes because I would love to have a baby with my husband.. and I cant.. so it is an emotional thing for me tooo. so stop being insensitive.. and stop thinking you are making a funny joke when you see me and my husband together.. because no.. my tv isn’t broke.. if you don’t understand the joke then youre not old enough to understand this story anyway.. but enough about my rant… I like cornbread.. and cheeseburgers.. and fried things.. and little Debbie.. and cookies and cake and just about anything I can put in my face without it biting me back.. with that being said.. im round.. so back to my story.. I am standing at the cabinet looking at this empty little bucket of orange slices and saying to myself.. this thing was full a few days ago.. like.. really full.. now there is one single solitary slice.. o n e. now I have to become horatio cane and figure out who the culprit is.. I begin my deductive reasoning and rule out that it is my youngest child.. who if he had eaten all of those things.. as skinny as he is.. he would look like a tube sock with a orange in it.. so we can check him off.. next is my little girl.. but she has her own pot of goodies with the oversized can of jelly beans she has.. and I am sure she is at this point attempting to put herself into a sugar coma.. she might as well put a funnel down her throat and have somebody pour em down the tube.. theres my husband but he has no interest what so ever in my orange slices.. so there is only one suspect left.. my thirteen year old garbage disposal son.. so.. I call him into the kitchen.. he walks in with his 2015 shaggy from Scooby doo appearance.. ear bud hanging out of one ear, some kind of hip hop rock somethingorother pouring out of it at a deafening level.. hat half cocked sideways and comes to me with a “sup?” So I shake the empty but one bucket in his face and say.. did you eat all my orange slices?? and without missing a beat.. this is the answer I receive.. no.. see.. I didn’t eat all of them.. there is still one in there.. and with that being said.. I now know why some animals in the wild eat their young..

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