Hello World, so I’m done with exams and college is closed for the semester for 3 weeks only. Until next semester starts. So I start my holiday job next monday just to keep busy and sane and keep me on the move. I need this, cant stand doing nothing anyway. I can’t help but feel that there’s so much missing in my life Im sitting here with so much on my mind yet I’m supposed to be relaxing after such a hectic semester. Its just that theres so so much I still wanna do and achieve in this life and I feel like I’m the one sabotaging myself and my future. I feel trapped ,like nothig interesting is going on in my life I mean I’m 19 ,this is the youngest I will ever be in this life and all I want is to be successful and be happy in future since I suck in the love dartment. I at least wanna conquer something and have control of something right?. But I fear failure so much It freaks me out ! I mean yeah ok I lost the guy that brought down the walls that I put to guard my heart and it didn’t work out I still love him just we both have a lot we gotta sort out in our lives I guess. Besides long distance relationships are complicated any way… so I won’t be dating for a long while coz I wanna figure me out and I have no desire to be in a relationship with anyone else at the moment . ok enough of the non-existent love life. back to spicing up my life . i Need a change and a new found confidence. i need to work on my own growth and my conquer fears.