So. This Saturday and Sunday I’m going to have the long-awaited, dreaded, senior high school entrance examinations. Actually, I’m the one dreading it–my parents have taken a “just do the best you can because we don’t really care how well you do on it as long as you don’t just turn the exams in blank” attitude toward it; my siblings don’t care; and my classmates here, who have all been through the test before, have adopted an “lol so you’re taking this test totally unprepared that’s hilarious how are you even going to get through it but also who cares how well you do on it and also why are you going to a small town to take the exams when you could take it in a city where the exams are easier” stance. Seriously. At least my old friends understand, at least partially, how I feel about it.
Anyway. I’m dreading this Saturday but I’m also kind of looking forward to it, I guess. I mean, after it’s all done, summer vacation will officially start, and I’ll be off traveling and having fun and whatever. I’m also feeling very nostalgic and sentimental, for the three years that have passed since I first stepped into my seventh-grade classroom as a nervous, immature thirteen-year-old, and from the year that has passed as I left my eighth-grade classroom a less nervous but still immature fourteen-year-old. At first I thought those two years would be long and unbearable–now, they seem to have flown by. And they’ve taken on the fuzzy, fragmented form of dreams in my memories. I’ll step out of that school for the last time this Sunday, right after the English exam ends, and I’ll probably never go back, or see my old friends and classmates again. So sad, but also weirdly happy?? I’m a very sentimental person and a major crybaby (even though I can sometimes be a heartless bitch on the outside) and I’ve gotten teary-eyed a lot of times just thinking about my life and how quickly it’s gone by and how in three more years I’ll be off to college or whatever and I’ll be an adult…
Okay well I was just rudely interrupted from my reminiscing about good-old past times by an IM some random dude just sent me from QQ (Chinese IM/social network thing). Well, I was surprised and a little curious because I have, in the past, talked to some nice people online other than friends that I already know. Anyway he said something along the lines of (this is all translated from Chinese obviously) “hey girl are you there” –which already sounded creepy–and I answered, “who are you?” He answered “Liu Xuan” and then, because I know no one by the name of LX, I said “I don’t know you.” I was about to close his IM when he sent another one: “do you want to see me jerk off?” and in that instant I GOT SO FUCKING PISSED OFF AND FELT SO DISGUSTED AND ANNOYED AND GENERALLY EXPLOSIVELY ANGRY THAT ANYONE WOULD ASK ME SOMETHING LIKE THAT, THAT I ALMOST RATTLED OFF A MESSAGE LIKE THIS: “WHAT THE FUCK, YOU PERVERT, GO FUCK OFF!!!!” But I didn’t. I caught myself and I didn’t send it, because I didn’t want to have any more communication with him–I immediately deleted him from my “strangers” list (I have no idea where he found my QQ number).
But seriously–WHAT THE FUCK. Like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I’m not stupid, I know there are creeps and perverts and weirdos and sickos hiding everywhere on the internet, and I’ve seen plenty of weird disgusting profiles and stuff–but I have NEVER been actually ASKED, or TALKED TO, by a sicko, personally. Really. And it just made me so mad–dude, I can’t explain it. It was also just rather alarming because, SERIOUSLY???? Dude. The internet is hella creepy, and I’ve just encountered my very first creep. Not a good thing. The amazing thing is that this is the first time I’ve ever experienced such a thing, even after like, spending half my life on the internet.
Okay, well, at least I can be comforted by the fact that I have never ever ever put a picture of myself online. That way, at least, no weirdo perverts will actually know what I look like. It really annoys me though–because some of the websites that I would like to join REQUIRE a personal pic, and, since more often than not they’re filled with more sickos than nice people–well, I’ll pass. Sad, though. I was really hoping to find some nice people online to chat with (now, I’ll admit, it seems like a fucking long shot–I’d have to scroll through the haters and the weirdos before I could find anyone remotely nice and semi-normal).
Sigh. Can’t a girl just write her nice, nostalgic, sappy journal without being interrupted by creepy people? At least, now these people will have a harder time finding me–I just randomly changed all my personal info. Most importantly, of course, I am now a man. HAHA, TAKE THAT weird sickos who are looking for women!!!
So yeah. Have a good day everyone–and I hope that you never have to encounter any creeps.
*Update, title changed from “Upcoming Exams and Weirdos” to “Upcoming Exams and Sickos.” “Sickos” seems like a more appropriate term.