Things I Forgot on Sunday

I am horrified that the
darkness will drown me. I am
scared that no one will be able
to push it out of my sorry, drowned
lungs as I fail to sustain myself
in an ocean that only I can feel.

I am petrified of feeling my feet
leaning forward and succumbing
to the tender pull of gravity. I
always wanted that freedom,
but the price you pay is
shattered everything and no
second chances.

Hold me away from myself.

I am disturbed by the sheer
emptiness of my eyes and the
desperation in my own
voice. when I tell myself
that everything is absolutely
fine, and I tell them that I’m
“okay.”

As if I can convince myself
that I haven’t been three steps
away from that edge for years;
I don’t know who or
what I’m clinging on, and I
don’t know why it keeps me
away from the depths. I
can only hope it stays long
enough for me to remember
the sunlight:

there is more to this world
than other people’s selfishness;

even the most severe
fractures can heal over time;
I have lungs, but I just
need to remember how to breathe.

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