1st Sober Father’s Day

There have been lots and lots of firsts in this journey.  Today was the first Father’s Day where I was able to make it through the day without falling asleep at dinner time.  We had a relaxed but productive morning.  Visited with my father at the pool in the afternoon and they went out to dinner.  I found myself a little more anxious then usual, but I think that was just because there was a lot to do and be organized and up for.  My moods can swing still and the past few days I have been fighting a major headache.  I also have been experiencing dizziness and fatigue.  Eye doctor tomorrow will hopefully figure that out.

I was proud of myself… things I could accomplish but wouldn’t have been able to in past.

1. up early to make coffee and present the hubby with presents

2. Make plans with family that didn’t include wine

3. Celebrated dinner and desert without craving wine

4. Still awake after 8pm and sober … enjoying the silliness of this family of mine.

I am still anxious now and then but I am learning how to deal with it.  I really believe it is my brain still in major healing stage and that is also causing the fatigue.  I could sleep away days without any trouble, but like the schedule we have going so won’t do so.  My brain is still playing tricks on me, but not as often.  I think it would be so easy to just drink a bottle of wine and veg.. and just watch from the sidelines.  My fave quote is “this is the main event”, I am know present and trying my best to convince myself this is where I need to stay.  Well its almost bedtime and I did another day!  Thank you God!

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