Weekends are the worst… My Rant

Today is day six at my recovery center for anorexia…

I feel like leaving is the best thing to do because facing my emotions that I can feel now that im not numbing that out is sending me into a deep depression that makes me feel awful.

I can’t think of any reason to recover…what do I have to look forward to? More life struggles? All I seem to be able to do is get hurt and hurt again. Watch my daughter as she continues to deteriorate health wise, and slowly die? What type of a life is that?

Am I supposed to go to college for something I want? Sure… but how will the bills get paid… But if I don’t go back to school how am  I going to be able to get a job that pays enough to even pay all my bills and get out of the state aid.

I’m so uncomfortable physically and mentally and don’t remember the last time that I was this depressed. Even though people say in the recovery process that it gets easier, I don’t know if I can make it to that point without wanting to give up on life.

My soul feels empty,

Nothing feels alive inside,

I opens my eyes,

I’m too tired for the ride…

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