I have struggled for years with my depression. At first I didn’t know what it was, I thought it was me just growing up and starting puberty. But as years went on this feeling didn’t get better.
It first started in Jr. High when I wasn’t the prettiest girl in the world. But, I started “dating” this guy and all of a sudden his friends and him just started making fun of me by my one eyebrow and mustache. I figured it was true and that’s when I started looking at myself differently. I started to try make up to make me look pretty.
Years have gone by at this point and I started seeing myself as pretty but, I still doubted all the guys who said it. I never really knew what was going through my head either. I would start getting moody and wouldn’t eat for days get really upset or really mad. I didn’t know what this was but all I knew I just wanted it to stop.
I get this feeling like an elephant is on my chest and it won’t come off. I can barely breathe half of the time because I am so worried about what others think about me. I can’t even look at myself and say that I love myself.
I am trying to look at myself everyday in the mirror and say I love myself and that I am beautiful. I just need support and I wanted to tell my story so that others like me had someone to talk to. I hope I can get through this depression, I know that I should go talk to someone but I really just want to share my story and hopefully others like me can help or that I can help you.
I am getting better, day by day, is what my husband tells me all the time. You can never get to far into the future because then you have to hope it doesn’t change. You change for the better as time goes on you have to leave things in the past or it could ruin what you are thinking now. But don’t leave everything behind because your past is what makes you better.