I have been sitting here thinking what I can do to make myself happy. I feel like writing on this journal online will help me out a lot. I have been struggling for a long time and I haven’t found an outlet to put all my thoughts on till now. I knew there were journals like this but I haven’t had a chance to look them up and see what they are about. I hope this helps me vent everything I need to so that I don’t have to force it on my husband and on my friends. I have gone through a lot through out the years and I am glad I am actually doing something for me. I knew I would like to write but I didn’t know what about. I really don’t want to talk to someone when I can talk to myself tight now and clear things up that I need. Hopefully everything turns out between Kelsey and I guess I shouldn’t have snooped around but Liz just needed to talk about it. But I should have just kept it to myself or just let Liz vent. I know I can be a good listener but he is my friend too. Why does it matter that I asked I was just wondering what he thought about it. That’s it but whatever what is done is done. No turning back now., But right now I need to think about myself and how to make me happier and this is making me feel better. I don’t know what I am going to do when I go on my cruise but I will have to talk to mike to see if we can get a hotspot.