New Life

I am heartbroken.  I never thought that this could happen to me.  I met the man of my dreams, we lived together for 4 years, and got married.  He decided to leave me 2 months after the wedding.  That was 2 weeks ago.  I feel so lost.  

We just signed a lease on a new apartment.  Luckily we decided to rent a much less expensive place, and I think I can manage on my own for a few months.  I’m in the process of kicking him out.  He didn’t want to leave.   He somehow had this idea that we could go from being married to being roommates, and he would live here for the year until he moves to Seattle or somewhere.  That’s not going to happen.  Every time I see him, my  heart hearts.  He is not even suffering at all.  He was so far gone by the time he told me he was breaking it off, that all he felt was relief.  He didn’t care about me at all anymore.  

I am so full of emotions.  I’m so sad that I’m losing him, and I’m just starting to get angry with him for lying to me and going through with the wedding.  I planned to spend my entire life with him, and he stood there and lied to my face, in front of all our family and friends, knowing the whole time that he didn’t want to get married.

I’ve printed out the paperwork to begin the annulment process.  I just have to wait a week to find out his new address, and then I can have it filed.  I don’t really have the money for this whole process, but what else am I going to do?  I’m already borrowing money from my little brother to pay my pet deposit.  We had a bunch of bills hit us all at once, so we are a little behind.  I don’t know how I will manage.

Yesterday was my birthday.  I turned 23.  I’m going to have already failed a marriage at 23 years old.  I really don’t feel like I failed anything though.  I feel like I was betrayed.  I wanted to get married.  I wanted to stay in the relationship and work out our problems.  He is the one who lied about wanting to get married, and then made the decision to leave without trying to fix our relationship.  That’s all on him.

4 thoughts on “New Life”

  1. You write very well and I have enjoyed this piece of your writing. Life is a struggle. Don’t worry. What has happened, has happened. Go on. go, fight and win. Have the power of acceptance because what happened is good and what has not happened is better.

    Keep writing and keep inspiring the world.

  2. Geez, sweet girl. So much love to you. I can’t even imagine. What I know is that the worst things come very suddenly, when it is completely unfair and undeserved, and all you can do is “deal” with the unbelievable circumstances by somehow getting through each day, just one at a time. My heart goes out to you and I wish I had the words that could bring you any encouragement or comfort. Please keep writing if you find it helpful at all. Are you getting any support from family or friends? Is there anyone helping you right now through this time? You are in my prayers. <3

  3. Hi i’m new here, i’m so sorry this happened to you it was almost like reading my life except we rushed and i do mean rushed through things, i met my ex in november 2000 he moved in on Jan 2001 and on Valentines Day 2001 we married we were together 10 yrs and close to our 10 yr anniversary he finally told me he didn’t want to be married anymore that he didn’t love me and never did.. Things will get better talking to friends or writing definatly helps but whatever it was just remember it wasn’t you.. take care

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