Do you ever?

Do you ever wish you could tell the future ? I do so much and lately definitely. I feel like everything  is just so different lately. Its weird how much a week can change that. Dont get me wrong my positive attitude is still there , but i guess theres some signs that make you think about certain things. Aarons been working a lot and were really not on the same schedule  so we cant talk as much. In our relationship before we did a lot more dates, etc… weve been together again for 4 months and havent even been to a movie or dinner. Which obviously  isnt either of our faults, but things are different.  I guess i just need to stop there and be thankful. But i wont lie to you , cant do that i mean it is MY JOURNAL. Before we were together there was a lot more romantic things, idk where it went… or maybe that was just a before  thing i dont know but i miss it. I always see people being cute, and flowers, and people having time  to do things in their relationships and unfortuantly i dont… but once again our relationship is a lot diffrent clearly  not like anyone elses. Dont get me wrong i love my boyfriend  to death but there is parts of a relationship that are defined by the memories u make with that person… the things u do together. Just hopefully soon i can do “normal” things.  Well today we leave for florida and i was supose to wake up happy but unfortuantly  im crying a little bit, im really sad aaron couldnt come. But part of me thinks even if he could of he wouldnt of. Poonaroo etc is this weekend (which is a big concert for 2 days). I just dont feel like im a first choice… and its starting to really get me down. In the beginning it felt like he worked so hard go get me back said the nicest things to my family backed him self up and now it just fades?  Idk and maybe im over thinkin  like always… but maybe im not.


Well time to cheer up leave all the “thinking” here and dealing with it when i get back… if i even  deal with it.

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