I’m tired

why me? My husband could give two shits about me, he cares more about himself and what he wants. Why did I marry him? Because when I first met Alex he was sweet, shy, cute. He’d talk nonstop over text but when you were with him in person he wouldn’t talk the way he did on text. One day we hung out when we were just friends and we went for a walk, we talked about eachother it was nice to know more about him. He was so cute and I loved talking with him, at the time he had a girlfriend but I didn’t care at the time cause me and him were just friends. He really liked me a lot though. He’d always ask me if we could date and I’d say you have a girlfriend and he would say he doesn’t want to be with her and he’d break up with her. I felt bad so I just said I’m not ready for a while. Then after a while I started liking him and I told him and he was really happy and asked me out again and I said I will once you break up with your girlfriend cause cheating isn’t right. So he said he broke up with her but he didn’t because I still said I needed time. I found out she was over one night and I got mad cause I hate when people lie to me. No matter what the lie is it just bothers me. So he tried denying it at first and eventually I let it go. The first time we kissed was amazing he asked me if he could kiss me, he was so nervous but I thought it was  cute I said yes. And we were making out for a minute then our friends came back in the car and we just held hands from then. We would hang out and kiss for a while when we were alone, he’d touch me and I loved it. I was falling for him. He was the sweetest guy ever and I was in love with how kind hearted he was. The first time we made love it was at night we were in the hayloft we were making out and then it just happened. Didn’t use a condom because I was too into the moment I didn’t even think if that until after we were finished. When I got home that night he messaged me and said he loved making love to me. Usually guys say sex or fucking but he says making love which makes it more special and knowing he is serious about us. He asked if we could do it again and I said maybe. At the time I still had some feelings for my ex but they were slowly fading away. 

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