Step by Step
Sunday, July 12, 2015
“I had always believed in a Power greater than myself. I had often pondered these things. I was not an atheist. Few people really are, for that means blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. My intellectual heroes, the chemists, the astronomers, even the evolutionists, suggested vast laws and forces at work. Despite contrary indications, I had little doubt that a mighty purpose and rhythm underlay all. How could there be so much of precise and immutable law, and no intelligence? I simply had to believe in a Spirit of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 1 (“Bill’s Story”), p 10.
Today, if I still resist considering the possibility of a Higher Power, maybe I can re-frame the question to prove or disprove the possibility. As Bill W. wrote, he maintained – possibly intuitively despite years of alcoholic drinking – a sense of “purpose and rhythm” in spite of “contrary indications.” Can I honestly believe the immensity of the entire universe is nothing more than a force of spontaneous elements that collided to produce all that makes up the universe? And, realistically, is it by accident or “harmony” that these dynamics maintain a consistency to sustain not only life but the universe itself? To believe that may be a bigger stretch than to acknowledge the possibility of a Higher Power. How and why the question relates to my recovery, even a hope for one, is simple: if I cannot or will not consider a Higher Power, or even a higher intelligence, how effective can I be in accepting the Program’s First Step of admitting “(I am) powerless …?” Today, I’ll take a leap of blind faith and believe that if alcohol can be stronger than me, something can be stronger than alcohol. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M., 2015