I’m a fool. I’m a fool for him. I hate feeling like this. Not good enough. Not lovable. What’s wrong with me? Why do I feel this way? I feel this way even though I feel like I have no right to feel this way. I waste my days away for vague promises. For you. Pathetic, I am. No friends. No plans. Stuck here wondering. Hoping. Dreaming. Believing. In nothing. Something that doesn’t even exist. Something I wish with all my heart that would. But that’s just silly. And now I’m here reminding myself. Everything happens for a reason. Once again. I think. It’s apart of God’s plan. But how can I say that? A girl who hasn’t been to church in years. A girl who believes in a God. But doesn’t praise him every Sunday. Is that even right? Fair of me? Can I do that? Is that allowed? For a God who I believe loves unconditionally. It’s allowed. But is it heard? A girl can only hope.