He

I don’t know what I am doing most of the time. I want a boyfriend who will treat me right, I know it sounds screwed up that I have a husband, but he doesn’t treat me right, I’m more upset than happy. I tried thinking of all the positive things in our relationship, but I couldn’t find many. I found more negitive  things than positive. I want to be able to be with someone who is not perfect at all. But respects me and doesn’t call me names. That’s not shard to ask for is it? When I first met Alex things were perfect I would tell myself how lucky I was to have such a sweet loving guy who always wanted to be with me and always wanted to do nice things for me. Things changed after a while. Now I’m afraid to ask him questions cause I’m scared he will get mad at me or something. I can’t say how I feel because then he will say I’m being stupid, and whatever else he usually says. Last night he was drunk and I put makeup on him while he was sleeping we were at his brothers, he woke up and realized he got so mad at me, he called me the nastiest names you could ever think of. He called me fat. I’m not fat but i might have a little extra weight on me than I did before. Let’s just say I’m 5’7 and 138 pounds. You be the judge of that. But he called me fat 5 times last night and I started crying I felt so gross. I haven’t eaten much at all today. I went for a long walk too.  I’m so tired and emotionally tired as well. I really want to me someone new and just start all over and take things slow. All my relationships never really started off slow and I want the person I’m going I be with forever to start slow with me. I love Alex but I resent him at the same time. It’s hard to explain it’s a weird situation. But god I hope I find the right guy for me some day. Hopefully sooner than later. Until than I’ll be waiting

3 thoughts on “He”

  1. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. Take it from someone who was abused by her ex. I finally had enough and beat him up. If your not happy then you need to either go to try and fix your marriage and if that don’t work then you need to leave him. There is no reason for him to have treated you in such a way. Find a way to be happy hun. Life is to short to sit there and take crap when you can spend your time being happy. Ill share two of my favorite quotes with you. ” When people hurt you over and over think of them like sandpaper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit but in the end you end up polished and they end up useless.” “As we grow up we learn that even that one person that wasnt suppose to let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more then once and its harder every time. You’ll break hearts to so remember how you felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for something an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing to fast and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So take many picture. Laugh too much and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.”

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