guessing

Thursday, July 23, 2015. Tomorrow is brain clinic day.  Today I feel pretty good.  I’

ve done my 3 s’s, drank some coffee. Today I have two appointments, one this morning and one this afternoon.  I Don’t have much money in the bank account and more to come out.  I’m not sure which one will be turned off for non payments.  Maybe Angie White will have some Ideas but I wont hold my breath.  Nachole will stretch me out this afternoon, and this might be the last time.

I guess what I”m expecting is a fresh start.  I’m hoping that it is just something like wrong medicine that will save us money. I need answers, and then a way to fight it without drowning it in meds.  The things everyone is guessing is MS, altizhimers , dementia, and some type of brain desease.  The best would be having a minor stroke . What ever it is, it’s been following me for a while.  It’s that little black rain cloud that you just don’t really see right away.  Is it something that has made me an underachiever, afraid to make decisions , always wanting someone else to make the call. Is it me trying to shout out for someone to notice me and even notice me for something I almost did.  Has it made me too kind and not wanting to hurt feeling. Maybe this might give me a backbone.

I don”t like the person it makes me. This morning Angie has stopped by, Lindsey is sleeping in, I had already taken Gigi out when Angie showed up.  I had to get Liz up, Vinny was up needing breakfast, and Leo needed to go outside to poop and pee.  All this happening at one time overloaded the system and I had to step away and leave Liz and Angie to talk until I could calm my mind down.

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