Kids, the following is a really, really, I mean really short story. Of all the guys I’ve been with, this is the one I understood the less.
Two weeks after I decided to not see the guy from the bus again, a friend of mine invited me to her boyfriend’s birthday party, it was just a get-together-with-friends at his place. I did not have anything else to do, so I figured; why not?… Now, I really wish I hadn’t gone.
The party was ok, I knew many of the people there, except for a few.
You know how much I love Friends, the show.. right?… Well, there was this guy at the party, who really reminded me of Chandler… He would make jokes every time he spoke, and he’d make me laugh. Of course, it doesn’t take much more than that for me to like someone… He was cute, funny and I don’t know, for some reason I felt attracted to him.
I sat next to him during the party, and then he took everyone home, including me. Nothing happened though.
The following day, I texted uncle Tavio, since he used to be friends with this guy… So I asked him how this guy was, in order to not make another mistake… He told me he was a good guy, but… (yes, there’s always a but) that he was “bend” after his last relationship. Spoiler Alert!: He was not bend, he was broken.
I added him on Facebook, we chatted the whole week, and went out the following Saturday.. I had a great time, good laughs, it felt right… He brought me home, kissed me in the car and then I asked him if he wanted to come up -my bad!- and he said no. It was actually a bit confusing, cause he had been telling me all week he would “spoon” with me… but anyways.
The following day, he tells me he’d like to talk to me and explain something to me.. So we met on Monday that exact same week. He told me how his last relationship beat him up and how it was hard for him to be with someone new… and I, kids, can swear I understood him, and I had no intention of anything… I would just let him go his way, his times… I would have let him lead whatever would happen with us without demanding anything… I really thought that guy was worth it. He was nothing like the guys I had dated… nothing, at all…or so I thought…
Next day, after that Monday, he texts me saying he bought my favorite chocolate, and that I should pick a movie so he’d come… and he did… he kissed me that night, we fooled around a bit.. nothing more than kissing and hugging.. but it was nice, and I didn’t want anything else… again, I was sure I wanted to wait for him to be ready to make a move… I didn’t care if nothing happened… I was OK.
The next 2 days, he’d talk to me on Facebook, he’d tell me all about how I made him smile, how he got bored when I was not online, and many other things that made me feel good… and then, just out of the blue we were chatting and I told him I was going on a trip for 10 days, and that I would’ve liked to see him before I left.. and he told me he was “selling me flowers with no smell”… that we could go out, get together and watch friends, or do whatever, but that nothing would ever happen between us.
This caught me off guard, I had no intention on rushing him into anything… All I wanted was to be there for him, and get to know him.. and still I felt he was ending something that he never even gave a chance to begin… I felt confused, I still don’t get why he behaved that way… it all happened so fast, in less than a week I had seen him 3 times and then he was saying all this nice things to me, and all of a sudden everything had vanished…
Even at this point, kids, I still don’t get it… he even deleted me from his friends on Facebook. He hurt me with no reason at all… he made me feel stupid, and small. I cried my eyes out that afternoon, with music really loud, and trying to scream louder than the music, feeling pain… but not because of him but because of the situation… once again, I found myself in a situation I didn’t deserve to be in… I had been good to him, I told him I accepted his quirks, his issues… and that would be there for him, and still.. he managed to make me feel awful with myself… I hated myself that day, cause I couldn’t believe how stupid I had been, to go again and accept something I shouldn’t have… for accepting his issues, instead of telling him to get the fuck away from me if he was not sure of what he wanted… I hated myself for wanting to be there for him, for putting myself in that situation in which the guy without knowing me at all affected me so much. I get I was going through a tough time… but it wasn’t fair to me… HE wasn’t fair to me.
I don’t remember anyone in my life making me feel so sad, and bad about myself.
I really hope one day, he gets back on his feet, and realize how bad he behaved with someone who actually wanted to be there, and take care of him. At that moment, and I know this is not nice… but, at that moment I wished he’d never get things over because he deserved to be broken as he was. I was a nice girl, mostly to him… and he did not have any right to make me feel so… I don’t even know what word to use.
Sorry kids, this was a really sad story for me… I promise there are much better, funny and good stories about douches I’ve dated before meeting your father.
Just to take things with humor, and actually to keep my sanity… I decided to think the guy was some kind of Gollum -you know, the two personality character from Lord of the Rings-… cause if not, I would’ve become crazy trying to figure out why he was such a sweetheart for 2 weeks, and then an asshole at the next second.
He did keep on insisting on getting to know me, asking me out, etc… but I really really lost interest in him… he kept on being an asshole while asking me out.. The story ended up to be funny since he did not make any sense at all and kept making no sense for weeks. Anyways, one more guy who did not know what he wanted nor how to be a man.
The story did not quite end there… I found out he got back together with his ex, and that’s why he wanted to stop talking to me, but still have me there just in case. Three weeks later, he came to me once more, this time, his girlfriend had left him again. Of course, I did not give much more time to the situation.
Kids, please note that this entry was written right after everything happened, so it might seem it really hurt and I gave a lot of importance to it… Now I look back, and realize I’ve been always just a fool who takes things in a very emotional way, when actually, should be more rational. So, bottom line… try not to always think with your heart, and give your brain a bit more space when you find yourself in this kindda situations in which clearly, the unstable person is the other one. 🙂