Chris Carrabba

Tonight, you are going to see someone who we both love. You sent me a picture of you drinking your coffee, and heading out to go and have fun, sing and dance in the city we first connected in.  You looked so pretty in that picture, I know you aren’t wearing your wedding ring, I don’t fucking blame you. But God damn it hurts.  I will never forget seeing Brand New with you, just me and you, belting the lyrics, sweaty and hot, feeling young and having fun in this fucked up life I have created for us. I would have killed to go with you tonight, but I know it’s not what you wanted. I know you said you haven’t been missing me, what the hell is there to miss? You are such a fun amazing person to be around, you light up every room and conversation you are in, I tried to stifle that and belittle you and make you feel insignificant to make myself better. What I wouldn’t do to just let my fucking guard down and enjoy you, the most amazing person I know. I hope you have the most amazing time tonight, I am writing this so I can try to LEAVE YOU THE FUCK ALONE and just let you be. You deserve only amazing things in life, I am sorry I have held you back from that.

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