Scared, excited, hopeful, impatient!

Today, at 3:45 I go in for my first counseling appointment.  I literally can not wait.  I have thought a lot about what my opening statement should be. I think it should be one word, honesty. I want to go in there and bare it all, I don’t want to hide ANY emotions.  I am SO ready for change, and am ready to do what it takes to make the change happen.  I am ready to be happy, be content, open, communicative, ugh jist so many things that I could have been, if i would have just let myself be! I am excited! The pain is real, what I have done is real, it will take a long time to heal these wounds that I have inflicted. But I accept this challenge, I want to give myself and my family an amazing, healthy, happy and STABLE life. You, you are simply amazing. If I was half the women you are, I would be a GREAT man. You are just a fucking rock, despite what I have put you through, you still have been there in EXACTLY the way I needed, not the way I wanted.  That text I sent you about you being my hero is so true. I look up to you, you inspire me. I hope one day that we can see eye to eye. But know this, I will ALWAYS have your back, from this day forward I am a fucking mountain for you, nothing on earth, heaven or hell can move me from your side, I swear this to you until the day I die. Thank you.

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