So… I might be attracted to gay guys…

What is it about a gay man? I it the way they treat women, their respect and almost envy of women? I dont know. Maybe Im just a freak.  I swear the guys I develop hard crushes for are usually gay or bi-curious… what does that say about me?!


Okay, so theres this dude that I work with who is hot in a totally unconventional way. He has piercings- which I usually dont think are attractive, but he is one of those people who pull them off.. like really well. He is younger than me, but doesnt act immature- and the sexual tension that fills the air when he is around is almost smothering. I go full retard and retreat retreat retreat! lmgdao. We usually use this inter-office chat system to talk about nothing, where the majority of the flirting happens.. He got my number because he comes into work half way through my shift, so he wanted to continue the conversation one day and told me to text him.. so i did…  Sometimes I think I should go back and relive my formative years, because I act like a kid who doesnt know how to act around boys. He flirts and I just sit there like- whoa.. did you just flirt with me? I go FULL retard… and youre never supposed to do that…

He admitted it.. He was definitely flirting with me…  and what is a little harmless flirting… but when I stalked his FB it shows he has a GF… so Im just like… WTF. I dont flirt back- not often anyway.. I try to keep our interactions PG…. and I CANT play in his game.. god knows I would lose… His dorky and my dorky are on two totally different levels. Im the true sense of the word.  I am awkward and I say the wrong things all the time. I am weird and it takes a special person to get me. He is like designer dorky. SMOKIN freakin hot. charming and sweet, with a touch of odd.

This dude has got me fucked up.

Why? Because Im completely DTF… and I probably shouldnt be… I mean we work together.. it doesnt exactly spell happily ever after.. but after he sent me a full frontal pic of his naked bod.. i am DEFINITELY DTF.

But i definitely dont want to be that home wrecker who ruins a good relationship, i mean, in the photos he looks really happy.. and if they are for real freaks who have an open relationship, im DEFINITELY not one to share.

If he wasnt so adorable in every way this would be so much easier…

Why me?


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