Some days I miss the drama. A lot of people would assume that this means I also miss the people. I don’t miss the people, just the drama. I spent a large chunk of my life living in drama, like I was a fish and the drama was the water I survived in. As soon as I cut it out completely I felt better. But I will admit, I had my struggles and still do. Don’t get me wrong, I like my life way better where it is now then where it was. I was miserable and always sad. Now I am happy and always smiling. But I have my days where I feel lonely. I know the way I used to live was bad for me but it was all I knew. When I stopped it was like a huge piece of me was gone. I know it was better for me but I constantly feel like I am lost. I don’t know why or what it is but I am just lost. I feel like this is a long emotional recovery that will take years to get over. I tried the medications, the therapy, the shutting down. Nothing has worked so I am hoping this might. The first of many.

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