As skeptical as this may sound to you, I always find the promise of ‘forever’ impossible, almost rather absurd. Why? This life has never been a fairy tale.
I suppose that’s why some people who are aware of this often use “(hopefully) for the rest of my/our life/lives” or “I’ll do my best” instead of “forever” or “for eternity”. After all, we’re merely mortals.
We also (tend to) have a change of heart. Don’t believe it? Go back to your past, like childhood and teenage years. I bet you’d recall moments when you used to love playing with certain toys, until you decided that you were too old to even keep them. Or friends you used to hang out and play together with, boyfriends/girlfriends you used to date, perhaps?
As we grow older, we also keep and lose some. Some stay the same; others just go away. It’s not always because we want it. It’s just unavoidable; everyone can have a change of heart. We just have to accept and go through it at times, especially if it’s for own good.
Sometimes you choose to accept – and embrace – changes, no matter how much they hurt and may cost you. Why? Because you believe it’s worth it. Whatever they may think of you because of your changes, it’s not about them. This is about you. This is your life and how you choose to live it. If you keep seeking for the approval of others, you’re bound to lose yourself in the process. You’ll never be completely happy.
“I’m just so used to seeing you this way. Now I have to adjust to your new ‘look’.”
Changes are never really easy, but that doesn’t mean they’re always impossible to cope with. You can’t expect everyone to understand or accept your decision to ‘change’ (hopefully, for the better in the eyes of God.) It’s not deceitful. You’re doing this for you, not for them or anybody else.
We all (tend to) have a change of heart. That’s why it’s never wise to arrogantly claim that we’re always good. We never know that. Sometimes God tests us by letting us slide and fall to remind us of our own arrogance. (“I’m a good person. Why is this happening to me?”/”I’m better than them.”) Stop being so judgmental and playing the victim card.
Sometimes, He also tests us by showing us the good deeds of others – in hopes to inspire us to do good as well as be good, or even better. Yes, it’s true that everyone gets the chance to be better – as long as they want to take and make the most of it. You’re not always as bad as you feel or anyone makes you believe and label you, but arrogance can definitely taint the whole idea.
So now what? What do we do? Where do we go from here?
We can only do our best and let God The One and Only Almighty do the rest, as usual. Pray that we’ll never have a change of heart once we’re on the right track according to Him. Pray that we will if we’re not there yet or falling behind, and that He’ll always forgive us and be merciful for our mortal weaknesses.
May your change of heart lead you to a much better path and help you to become a much better person in the future. As usual, aameen ya rabbal ‘aalameen.