Wedding Bells

I have been thinking about my sister all day. She recently got engaged. Yes I am happy for her, I just wish our relationship was what it used to be. We were best friends, wouldn’t go anywhere without the other. My dad married her mom 18 years ago. I met her when I was in sixth grade and we instantly bonded. When she was 19 she got pregnant and had a son. Our relationship hasn’t been the same since. I understand why, she had to grow up and was responsible for another life. We stopped hanging out and our relationship deteriorated. We don’t even call each other these days. We’ll text every once in a while and I will run into her at my dads house. Our parents split 2 1/2 years ago but she and her brother are still very much a part of the family.  I don’t understand why I didn’t try harder to be involved in her life when she became a mother. Maybe my age had something to do with it but I don’t think that’s it. I was only 17 but I should have been there for. Had I taken the time and made more of an effort, it could have really made our relationship stronger but instead I pulled away as I always do. We were talking a few days ago about her wedding plans. She told me she had asked her “best friend” to be her maid of honor. She almost said she was like a sister but stopped before she got the full word sister out and changed it to best friend. It felt like a slap in the face. Her mom recently passed away and her and this gal became really close because she had lost her mom last year. I get that! I don’t get why my sister didn’t turn to me in a time of need. I would have totally been there for her, had she asked. Maybe that’s the problem, maybe I should stop waiting for people to ask for help and do something. I tell myself at those times that I don’t want to step on any toes and tend to back off in the shadows and watch everything play out as others step up to help. I need to make more of an effort to bond with her again. I do miss her. Maybe this wedding can be it. Maybe wedding dress shopping and all that will bring us back together. I can only hope.

2 thoughts on “Wedding Bells”

  1. Tell her what you just told us.
    She should know how you feel. We as humans have a hard time expressing our feelings, and when we don’t express ourselves people don’t know how we feel, there’s no way for them to know.

  2. Diablo: Your right, I need to talk to her. I reached out to her and we have plans to meet up this weekend. I hope I get the courage to say everything once were face to face. Its always hard to talk about my regrets and my flaws and own up to my mistakes. Fingers crossed!!

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