My night couldn’t have been any worse

My Night couldn’t have gotten any worse .. after i cry my eyes out for hours and hours to get my girlfriend back and after i finally get her back my ex decides to pops up & they end up getting into a fight . all i keep asking god is whats next what else are u going to do to break me down and fuck up my life . because at this point I’m done I’m ‘done with life I’m done with everything & everyone .. 

every Morning i read a Quote from my Morning Meditation book . each day theres something different either on relationships , health ,family etc…  todays quote page was about Self-Awareness .. the quote at the end was ” Take notice of Your own inner voice today . is it telling you things you’ve been tuning out in favor of received ideas and outside authority? how can attune yourself to a true inner voice? “  i had to read this over & over & Over ,….What am i Tuning out ? what is it that i don’t want to hear ? what is it that I’m not Listening to ? am i holding on to this relationship and gods showing me signs of other wise ? am i suppose to just let go .. 

last night my girlfriend was so mad she said the worst things ever to me . she told me she was leaving me .. going back to her ex-girlfriend .. she said she no longer wanted anything to do with me and that she didn’t love me she was just talking to talk and i was dum enough to fall for it … all of these things to my face … i cried and i cried and then i asked her do you hear what you are saying . idk if what your saying is to hurt me so i can leave u alone or if u mean everything but ur seriously hurting me and she said I’m sorry when I’m mad i say the worst things…. How am i supposed to feel about this ?

Do i deserve this ? is this my Karma . . My crazy ex Will never let me be happy again !

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