I’m losing it.

I can’t handle it anymore. I emotionally can’t handle it. I don’t know what the hell I’m even doing. Why the hell I’m doing this. Why do I stay with Alex? I love him but he is killing me. One by one. Piece by piece. I know I always say this but i will not be able to handle it much longer. I can’t trust him. With anything. That hurts. Yes I have a reason and reasons not to trust him and yes I know it’s not healthy to be with someone you don’t trust but things were going so good. Now they are horrible. Again. How much more can I take? He’s doing stupid things like overdosing on triple c’s. Which is cold, cough, congestion. Stupid thing to over take but I guess if gives you a high feeling. Which is stupid. Why can’t things be normal and happy.  Yesterday was amazing. The day before was too. Now today was horrible. Alex needs help. And I can’t forget that. No matter how much I think he’s changed he needs the help.

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