never content

Where does the line lie between loving oneself and giving up on oneself? Every day I battle being content with my body yet ponder if it’s simply my excuse to not fight for a better me. Part of me is afraid of becoming oh-so-obsessive over my weight yet again; while another part of me thinks it’s an excuse because I don’t want to get off my ass. I look at overweight people and wonder- “how did they let themselves get that way?” Yet when I was on the slippery slope of binge eating and bulimia, I knew that’s how it started. However, now that I’ve stopped binging (as much) and throwing up (as frequently), I wonder if I’m still teetering on that slippery slope. It consumes my thoughts but at the same time I want to live freely and without worry. Where is that happy medium? How do so many people find this incredible life balance and are seemingly happy with themselves and their path? Is “fake it until you make it” truly a strategy?

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