“WHEN FRIENDSHIP ISN’T ABOUT NUMBERS…”

Some people love being surrounded by other people, even as many as possible. Perhaps they can’t stand being alone, especially too long. Perhaps they truly believe in the idea of “strength in numbers”, which is sometimes true.

Some people love being by themselves. They’re often labelled (or perhaps ‘misunderstood’ or judged) as selfish, uncompromising, reclusive, weird, or…autistic. (Sadly, this insulting term often comes from stupid, thoughtless, and ignorant Indonesians who are even already aware that AUTISM is a MENTAL DISORDER. NO ONE WANTS TO BE AUTISTIC. Is that clear?!)

Anyway, these ‘loners’ are also often assumed that they don’t need anybody or care about their surroundings. Or worse, you might think that they have no friends. Then you start looking at them with great pity, when in fact you just have no idea.

Some…are a little bit of both. They’re the kind to go in between, back and forth. Sometimes they need to hang out with other people, other times they just need to be on their own. It’s nothing personal; it could be just their moods. It’s all about maintaining proper balance, as stable as possible.

Which one are we? What do we mostly do?

Of course, it works differently for each of us. Some may always need other people around for that sense of self-security. They define their existence as mere living proofs on how many people who know and (probably) like them. (Well, just like how many ‘likes’ you might get from your Facebook posts.) Popularity contest still does appeal to many.

Some prefer being alone. Why? Who knows? Perhaps they feel more comfortable that way. (Once again, it’s not always personal.) It’s not always because they’ve been badly hurt by the shallow, judgmental society around them. It’s not always because they think they’re too good / bad for other people.

Maybe they’re just too busy. Maybe they’ve got something better to do on their own for now, instead of hanging out with other people – but wasting time and energy dwelling on the sucky past or badmouthing other people. Why would any sane, sensible person waste themselves on such negativity?

Some may only have a small group of close friends, and that’s okay. It’s all about personal choices. Sometimes you can really be close to that one particular person that those who don’t understand that automatically assume that you don’t have any other friends to hang out with. Well, even if it’s true, then who are they to judge and interfere?

It’s good to have many friends, but how many of them are real? Friendship is not just about how many names on your contacts’ list or Facebook. It’s not about how often you hang out and whether you always agree on the same things or not.

It’s more than that, and every friendship is different. After all, here’s always the thing:

You can be surrounded by so many people and still feel lonely. Or you can be your own best friend – even with no one around, because you know you’re never really alone.

You have God. Always…

 

R.

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