Little hearts.

I hate this feeling so much. It hurts so bad, I have not felt anything like this before, not that I can remember.  It’s so hard to explain, and confusing to me. I just don’t understand. I guess I am still just a boy inside. I feel scared and lost at times. There is a big part of me that is focused, determined and dedicated at all costs. And another part  of me, this horrible empty feeling inside. I want my family back so bad. I have never felt the kind of pain like seeing my little girl not knowing, oblivious to the crimes I have committed, still loving me blindly, yet I have to break her heart, and tell her no, I can’t stay… And the pain of your indifference towards me, is unbearable. I am truly starting to question whether you can ever love me again… Driving home tonight absolutely a wreck, I couldn’t help but want to scream, to get SOMETHING out! My breath hard to catch, my heart feels empty yet hurts so damn bad. I wish like hell there was a more simple and clear way, I would do anything, I would go to war… I did this………

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