15 Ways You Know it’s Getting Bad Again

1. They call you a wasted opportunity behind your back, and hold their breath behind clenched jaws as you step into view.  One mistake and they’ll be sweeping up all your pieces off the floor again.

2. You find blood on all your clothes and sheets, and it’s not washing out. Maybe this is what it’s like to hallucinate, and maybe this is what it’s like at the very bottom.

3. Today you will sleep till your bones are tangled in your hair tangled in you fingers tangled in the blankets.

4. They’ll watch you as though you’re a time bomb, a grenade, an explosive cliché about to destroy everyone. You’ll watch yourself the same way, a stick of dynamite, with handfuls of matches.

5. The sky is blue and the clouds are white and you are so fucking dead inside.

6. When she ass if it’s because of him, you’ll laugh for the first time in a week. And you’ll open a notebook and realize his name isn’t scribbled in the margins anymore.

7. Maybeyou’regoingcrazymaybeyou’regoingcrazymaybeyou’regoingcrazy.


12. It’s not self-harm if it’s a cry for help, it’s not suicide if you don’t feel anything, really you’re fine.

13. You say you’ll call her but you never do, she might realize you’re okay. they leave when you’re okay.

14. Fuck.

15. You’ll stop reading and start watching, then you’ll stop watching and start writing, and then you just

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