Day two didn’t end so well…

So after yesterday whole birthday thing with the boyfriend, I couldn’t put it behind me. All day it bothered me and it real put me in a funk. 

Before I continue let me give you a bit of backgroun. My boyfriend was in Europe for three weeks visiting family. We live together and I picked him up from the airport on Thursday night. Yes he owns his own business has had great success. To the point where Friday morning he was up at 5am ready to go to work. He has been working everyday since he’s been back. I know he’s tired and you throw in some jet lag, I don’t know how he does it.

Back to where I left off…so I came home from work was cordial with him but he knew something was bugging me. I’ve been with the man three years he knows me well enough. I decided to wait until after dinner to talk. So I offered to make him lunch for tomorrow and I brought it up. 

I started by asking him if he wanted to know what was bugging me. Naturally he said yes. So I told him I was really bummed that he didn’t make me feel special for my birthday. His response was sorry I was at work. I retorted with well I was at work too that’s not the point. He raised his voice and told me well what did you expected? I was surprised by the fact he raised his voice because it was obvious he was mad. I don’t understand why he got mad. I told him that if he was going to get mad I didn’t want to have the conversation with him anymore. 

I’m in bed writing this and I still have the huge urge to talk to him but to me this means he doesn’t care enough. Maybe I’m seeing it very one sided. He’s laying next to me snoring away and I’m sitting here typing with a heart aching. 

I didn’t need a present or a birthday but I would have a appreciated something a little more then “I was going to get you a gift but I didn’t have time and you have everything that you need”. After all things I do for him so act of love or appreciation would have been nice. Nothing in particular but just something.

so now, I probably won’t sleep and I’ll be up super late. Sorry for any typos, I started to cry as soon as I started typing. 

Wish me luck…

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