The most common lie that we use is ” I’m fine “. When all we really want is to scream and shout and find some way to ease the pain, that we carry around.
No one wants to hear the truth anyway. Most of them can’t deal with it if you finally speak up and tell them how you really feel inside.
I feel broken really. In a state of not being able to function properbly. I don’t think I will ever be complete again. I don’t even think I were in the first place really..
Im so tired. Not fysical. I think its my soul that’s just worn out. I can’t handle anymore of this. Im done really.
Every single time I let someone into my life, they end up disappointing me really bad. They break the trust that I had in them and that’s something you can’t fix, when It’s already done. It makes it difficult to trust someone new, so I don’t.
I don’t trust people anymore. Im not even so sure I like them so much. I really just want to be left alone at this point. I don’t want my friends to Come over. I don’t want to spend time with my family in the weekends. I barely leave my house at this point, and I don’t want to be asked about how I’m doing, that’s the worst thing they can do to me right now. That will only make it worse for me to cope. Then I would have to say that I’m fine, but the truth is the compelte opposite, because I’m really not.
I’m disappointed in myself. I feel ashamed and like I’m just a joke to life. “Lets see how much we can push her before she cracks”.
I’m bitter too, because all I ever want is to get back just a tiny part of what I once gave to some body, but I never do.