Understanding what it means.

So today you told me that you think it’s best we find what makes us both happy individually. Maybe it’s my emotional immaturity, or idk, but I am still trying to understand what this means. I’m not being weird or intentionally naive, I just don’t fully understand it. Maybe at this point, it’s hard to understand because I feel like I have found it. I feel like my eyes and heart have been opened to what true happiness means for me in this life. To me, it is my family. The few experiences we have had in the past couple weeks have showed me highs that I didn’t even know existed. And at this point, I can understand why you would be questioning if that is what your happiness in life looks like. After how I have been for 5 years, and then what I did, you have every right to question whether this is what will bring you happiness. Finding myself is another one that used to confuse me a lot, this one is becoming more clear as I step in to my roll as an actual father, and I have hopes I can prove myself one day as a husband. I am also finding that I can have self control, discipline, determination. I have something to fight for, and I am finding out about myself that I can step up, if I choose to. Choice, it really does come down to choice. I have found i can choose to live in the moment, live life and be happy. I have found that I can choose to put my mind to something, and accomplish it, if I choose to stay dedicated to it. I have found that I can be content and find love, if I so choose. I can choose to be honest. I hope I am going down the right path, it feels right. It’s not easy all the time, but I am learning more and more everyday to accept things, and that I can choose my reactions and how I deal with things. Maybe I am finding myself and becoming self aware? Either way, I feel more ready to be alive then ever.

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