Am I okay?

These past couple months have been so hard. Everything has just crumbled right in front of me. My whole world came crashing down a little bit at a time and really, all I could do was watch. The friendship I thought was forever ended just as quickly as it started. I messed up and he walked away. He made it look so easy. It was as if he didn’t care at all; like all of our memories were washed out of his head. I wish it was like that for me. I’ll never stop caring about him.

A guy who I thought I had starting developing feelings for promised me the world and left me with nothing. He played it off like it wasn’t a big deal. The way he acted was like the time we spent together meant absolutely nothing to him at all. When the truth came out, so did the tears.

I keep trying to look at the brighter side of things, like the fact that I’m starting college soon and how blessed I am to have two parents that love me to death and a decent job, but no matter what good things I think about, my mind always takes me back to the other things. I can’t get away from it. I can’t stop crying, sometimes without even knowing why. People are worried about me and I hate it. It’s killing me. I don’t want to be a burden. I just want to feel better and make this all go away. I just don’t know how. I wish I did. The pain is just so real. I don’t know how much more I can take..

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