So I’ve been thinking for literal years about blogging. And I have done it like 30 times, I seriously have a plethora of blogs on various subjects floating around the interwebs that never succeeded. They were (are? – nothing ever leaves the internet, right?) fruits of my internal monologue, one that I write constantly in my head- that never sees the light of the blogging day. I catch myself thinking “I’m going to write this ________” and I picture peoples’ responses and I write it politically and politely so as not to offend anyone… and then I SNAP the hell out of it and realize. “Probably no one G A F about my ‘rants’ and ‘raves’… just like IDGAF about theirs’.
So today, while writing this internal monologue in my head about how successful my (re)organization and decluttering process has been (not kidding I’ve even been taking pictures of this shit thinking that I might one day post a blog on one of my delightfully failed and shitty blogs about my shitty purge of shit), I thought “Why wouldn’t I just write this in a journal?”
I thought about writing it on the “notepad” on my computer. But have you ever written stuff down, like personal or trying to be creative and then gone back and read it? It makes me feel weird, like I was trying way too hard. It comes off super annoying and overly eager for readers, pretentious.
Here’s another *epiphany* :is that just me- “super annoying, overly eager, pretentious”? It’s definitely not. But when I “try”, it definitely is. So here’s to me NOT TRYING.
This feels so much better than that other whimsical bullshit, too. I’m not writing right now because I care if anyone reads it, I haven’t even decided if this will be a public journal or not. I’m just writing so I can get some things out of my head and being able to do so without feeling like I’m trying to please a crowd… without pretending like anyone cares about my opinion, it’s invigorating!
So let me tell you, journal, about my decluttering business…
I’ve been trying for years (not an exaggeration), to live a minimalist lifestyle. I “purge” (the term we use in our household) probably every 3 months. I give just tons of crap a way. My favorite place to give it to is the battered women’s shelter, really any of them, they are every where… which #1. I didn’t realize were so prevalent until I started seeking them out to donate things (story for another day I guess). Anyway, even through the purging, it seems like there is always more crap. I’m sure I keep buying it but I don’t know when or why or how. I’m beginning to start getting so grossed out by how much we all consume, all the trash we accumulate, just everything. Yuck.
So I came across Marie Kondo’s magical book with magical methods for “tidying up”. I hate lots of the things she says because I can’t get into the “my socks are miserable being balled up” perspective. I’m more like, “I don’t give a shit how you feel socks, you need to be paired a put away in a drawer where I can easily access you when I need you” perspective. But I do like something she says about decluttering like to shut up about nostalgia and not let it drag you down.
It’s actually feeling pretty good, though I’m usually a get-it-otherwith kind of girl. I’m trying to actually just use the remaining amounts of crap I have instead of just throwing them out. So for instance, I have a whole bunch of skincare products, evidence of a spending problem or skincare addiction. I’m now (and have been for a while) on a “mostly natural and healthy everything” kick. But rather than just throwing everything a way, I’m trying to work my way through the products using them until they are all gone away. But it really is easier to clean and keep things organized when you have less. I’m seeing the benefits of it every day.
The other thing, and now I’m just rambling, but my MIL gave me tons of my husbands BS stuff from when he was a child. She had saved literally all his toys, every ribbon he’d ever earned. Every trophy. I had probably 20 large rubbermaid bins from the 80’s/90’s lining my garage. We continue to weed through this stuff today… after 6 years of marriage. He finally lets go a little at a time, realizing that even our kid doesn’t give a shit about the ribbons he won in 1st grade. And out of this another *epiphanic* moment came to light…
“My son’s wife will one day loathe me equally as much if I save every single little memento of his childhood and give it to him”
and then shortly following….
“My son’s wife will probably not put any of this clothes of his I’m saving on their kids one day”
and then finally, the real epiphany…
“I’m probably saving all this shit for nothing”.
So… my resolve is to continue weeding through the things we have, and getting rid of the things we don’t need or use. I’m currently working on clever ways to display and/or store keepsakes. Like, my son’s infant onesies will become a little ‘memory bear’ and a blanket (for his future children), that’s so much more palatable than boxes of old baby clothes (IMO). His drawings and certificates, etc will be stored in the cloud instead of in a box.
Okay, I guess I’m done. Thanks for listening, journal. Not that you had a choice.